A FATHER'S DAY REFLECTION

Already, as a father who has failed many times over, I find it difficult to find direction for this short article.

For some, fatherhood seems to come easy. They get up every day, Monday through Friday, work the old 9-5, some more, and they come home and spend time with the kids, and put them to bed, then look forward to romping around like a kid on weekends.

Some fathers don't show up for the task of raising their own kids, either by being absent while there or just by literally being absent.

Some dads try to be in and out of their children's lives, battling with drugs, indecisiveness, job changes, divorce, and the list could go on.

Some dads cherish every moment they see their children and can be a mix of, or some of, the aforementioned. 

My dad, regardless of his personality challenges, and his battles with getting through life, when I was younger, was always there for me, no matter what. Never gave up, never put me down, and never ignored me. Despite rough times with him in childhood, he never stopped supporting me.

I have also tried to always be there for my children, despite constant failure, bad attitude at times, lack of funds, wrong words, depression, anxiety, and many other faults.

I have not been the best Dad to my kids, although, once upon a time my oldest children used to say I wasn't a bad dad, but in my opinion, I was. Now, I haven't heard from them in 15 months. 

I can honestly tell you, that when it comes to your kids, words can hurt, and mistakes last!

I have had a second chance, you might say, in raising my youngest child. I have done things very differently with him. Things I should have done with my other two. More time, more love, more talking, more humor, better attitude, more positivity, and THAT list, thankfully goes on every day, as I learn and add more to how I raise him positively and lovingly.

The difference in my children is partly personalities, partly different mothers, and much more, ATTENTION! 

Suffering from deep depression through most of my younger kids' lives, they didn't get to see the person I was in my twenties, nor the person I've challenged myself to become in the past year.

This Father's Day weekend, I ponder my first without my Dad. I think about why, despite all his faults, did I always go back to him?

I don't know what causes kids to not be involved with their parents. Not to say that I don't understand what my children's reasons are. 

Guilty! I am guilty of many of the things mentioned in the beginning of this article. 

If there are dad's wondering what it takes to raise your children, in hopes they stay in your life as they age, it is not self-righteousness, it is not money as some might think, or having a great job, or being stable as a rock. None of those things hurt, but it is two things, most importantly. Attention, and love! If you can't offer anything else to your children, make it attention and love, and you can't go wrong.

Don't ever bad-mouth your children. Don't cause them to feel guilty. Don't scream at them, or swear at them, as I see many parents do in public, dragging their kids around like puppet dolls, with no care for their hearts.

It is your child's heart that matters the most! The memories, the love, is what they will always remember.

We all make mistakes as Dad's, but being a Dad is a treasure richer than anything this world can offer us! Watching your children grow, too fast, seeing them achieve, and go off as successful young adults into this harsh world. The best gift you can give them to be efficient and gain all that you want them to have is your time and love!

My dad, despite all, did this. He loved us and gave us his time. Made sacrifices for us! That's what Dad's do. They make sacrifices.

This Father's day, be sure to cherish every second you have with your kids and carry it through to the end.

Don't give up, don't give in. Try your best, and love, love, love!!

It would be a great gift to redo my past, personally, but we don't get to do that. So, do it now!

Give your soul to them, and they will never give up on you!

During this emotional weekend for me and all Dad's, focus not on yourself, but on their needs, desires, and when they ask you to play, PLAY! When they ask you to read to them, READ! Respect them the way you want to be respected. When they ask you to hold them....NEVER LET GO!

Happy Father's Day to my Dad, wherever your soul is enjoying life now, and to all father's who try to do it right!

Written by: Colin Bruce Munro Wood

Heart and Soul Commentary

Copyright 2017